30 Things I’ve Learned By 30.

Yeah. Here we are, the unavoidable step in every adulthood lives, the grand entrance, the end-of-an-era feeling that might scare, excite or unimpress: the 30 years old milestone.

I’m not gonna lie, I’ve grown fearing this age. Why? I’m not even sure, but on the top of my head: the fear of not having accomplished any, or a very few of my teenage dreams. You know, these goals we (sometimes, irrationally) set-up at 18, that are destined to shape our professional and/or personal successes, the ones we, of course, HAVE to achieve by the time we start “growing up”, the ones that are synonyms of “accomplishment”, the ones that put a lot of PRESSURE on, what is in the end, just the beginning of our life journey.

But are these goals realistic? Do they really define the turn our life will take? Of course not. My very own experience showed me how much life enjoy a little twist sometimes, and how beyond these goals, what we should seek before all, is happiness.

As I just reached this golden age, I’m sharing with you some of the lessons life taught me so far. To be honest, they’re not brand new, but some of them take a lot of time to be understood, and applied. Let’s start.

1. Take care of yourself

That seems obvious, but we can easily get caught in our daily grind, forgetting what matters the most: our physical and mental health. Learning to take some “me” time is the basic of a good relationship with yourself (and I’m still learning).

2. Open up

Share your insights, communicate, explain how you feel to others about things to avoid regrets and the unsaid. You’ll feel better. You’re not that kind of a person? Write it, that works just as well.

3. Disagree with others

You don’t share the same opinions as your entourage? GREAT: say it. Expressing a disagreement is NOT a problem, as long as it is said with respect and that it doesn’t harm others. You won’t feel diminished, on the contrary: you’ll be considered as a person who stands for what she believes in.

4. Don’t make suppositions about what people think

Interpreting what one might think of you can ruin your self-esteem, little by little. It can even put you in a position where, to avoid this situation, you’ll act to please these people instead of doing what you really want. You’re not in their heads, and, most of the time, our own lack of self-esteem make us imagine what people think of us. Stop picturing what people think and act for yourself. If they don’t agree or think otherwise, it is their duty to say so, not yours to imagine or anticipate.

5. “Me” sometimes comes before “you”

Let’s just put it this way: happy you, happy others. Love yourself and don’t neglect your own happiness to please people. “Too much compromises” is a monster that will, on the long-term, come back and bite you in the ass with their bittersweet teeths.

6. There’s no failures

…Just opportunities to learn and get better everyday.

7. Allow yourself to dream

It’s ok to dream, it keeps you creative and sometimes gives you concrete ideas on how to achieve these dreams.

8. Try. Always.

You really, really, REALLY want something? Get up and fight for it. First step? Take a piece of paper and list all the steps you think will lead you to what you want. Then prioritize, and try them, one by one. Sitting and wondering times are over.

9. Don’t fear to pursue your passion

You don’t think the path you took is the right one for you? SO? Know that it’s never too late. You’re your own master, only you know what makes you happy, so plan your shift and do your best to do what really matters to you.

10. Be positive (try, at least)

I’m a very, very, down to earth p̶e̶s̶s̶i̶m̶i̶s̶t̶i̶c̶ person, so I agree, that one is a handful. Trying to see the good side of things first takes some effort, but will help you stay motivated and apprehend life with a light mind.

11. Yes. You. CAN.

Break your own barriers and always project yourself doing things and succeeding. It’s, at least, worth to try.

12. Work on your well-being

Well-being isn’t just sport, it’s a global approach. Evaluate all the components of your life, and make small efforts to enhance your everyday life: your housing, relationships with friends and family, the way you eat etc.

13. A clean lifestyle goes a long way

…Like, duh, right? The baby steps I recently took and which made the change for me: going to bed before midnight and have a real breakfast with protein and fruits in the morning to kick my energy going. The point is to install and respect an everyday routine that respects your body.

14. Keep learning

Very important point: always nurture and maintain your brain, your culture, and even your relationships with others to keep improving yourself and stay “aware” of the world around you. Don’t rest on your laurels.

15. Don’t wait for people to make the first move

Be enterprising, DARE to take the first step to contact someone or ask for anything. Don’t make room for regrets and “what ifs”.

16. Alone we move forward, together we go further

Don’t turn in on yourself and include people in your life experiences to get the best of them. And it’s more fun to have a pal to do them with.

17. Care for your family & loved ones

…Because they’re not eternal. One of the most beautiful gift you can get for someone: care and attention. And thus, by any means, even a text in the morning to wish them a nice day.

18. Be grateful

Take time to appreciate the good things in your life and welcome your opportunities with respect and humility, because nothing is granted.

19. Learn to put things into perspective

Don’t jumps to conclusions or reactions: step back and take the moment to think about your reactions and potential decisions to make.

20. Success comes with progress & hard work

Give the best of yourself to reach your goals, and keep yourself busy to achieve them.

21. Stop procrastinating. Just, STOP.

Do what you have to do when you can and stop putting them off until tomorrow. This effort will result in avoiding mental load and delay accumulation. How to achieve this? Think about your task and “break it” in small tasks if possible, that you can easily plan, day after day.

22. Take Baby steps

Directly related to the point below: dont overload your mind or your schedule with time and effort-consuming tasks. Break them into baby steps to be sure you’ll realize them.

23. Dont’ hold a grudge

Again, communication is key here. Dare to talk about what makes you unhappy with the people related to them and try to find common ground and solutions, to move forward.

24. Surround yourself with positive people

Some people have the tendency to communicate you their very own fear regarding a project or an idea you might have and make a transfert. You want or need advices? Either target the positive people already in your entourage, or better, remove the ones that don’t have your best interest at heart, or the ones who always react with negativity, which can kill your self-esteem.

25. Don’t put work before EVERYTHING

To be honest, that has been one of my biggest concern so far. We all seek to be performant at work and achieve our to-do lists or goals, and that’s good. You just need to know when to stop to take care of you. A happy you will result in a more productive employee. Not knowing when to stop will just result in a burn-out, and we don’t want that.

26. Things are not everything

We all love to shop and satisfy our materialisticness (c’mon, we all have one). But learning how to better consume is one of the biggest challenges of this era. Surrounding myself only with what I need is an approach still in progress but my past experiences definitely helped me to be aware of this issue. Goodbye quantity, hello, quality!

27. Stop overthinking: DO

Z’that clear enough?

28. It’s alright to say “no”

Stop putting pressure on yourself and trying to be nice and please people: sometimes you can’t be available, you can’t help, and that’s ok. You have the right to have enough things on your plate. Say no, and don’t accumulate.

29. Be curious, not judgmental

We all have our path and different opinions, and that’s great: these differences help nurture debates and conversations and result in getting to know more about others. Try to make this effort before jumping to conclusions.

30. Breathe

Perfection doesn’t exist. Try your best in what you undertake, but know that perfection is just a legend, so CHILL, life’s nice.